I can't sleep because I feel like a all night buffet. Some nights it feels like they are only snacking, but tonight it feels like I was an all night feast. Thankfully, Steven can get rest and doesn't feel like bugs are crawling on him or get the itches that come after the bites. I'm sure his rest is still interrupted by me. It seems like he is sleeping, but I don't feel like going to the couch and spreading these creatures.
How much stuff do I need to take out of our lives? On journey's with Christ, sometimes he asked those who were following to not take anything and other times he had them bring things for the journey. ""Take nothing for your journey," he instructed them. "Don't take a walking stick, a traveler's bag, food, money, or even a change of clothes." Luke 9:3 and Luke 22:36 ""But now," he said, "take your money and a traveler's bag. And if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one!"
So far I have thrown away so many things from the girls room and now they have very little. Right now they don't know the full extent of how much I have gotten rid of and now I might have to take away their adorable pets. We just don't have the time for them right now going through this trial. So these adorable rabbits who love attention are tearing apart their cage. Do I get rid of all the clothes that the girls have outgrown that I'm waiting for Taliah to use? Is it considered not trusting God to provide for our needs, when I hold onto clothes or other items so we don't have to buy more?
I have been throwing a lot of our stuff away as well. How much do I do? Oh God, I need your wisdom! Thankfully, through this journey when one of us is down the other of us has been the encourager. Steven has reminded me that their are people in other countries that have no relief from bed bugs or other pests. Just praying that I can get done with our house soon, so hopefully we can get some relief. He has also reminded me that God didn't create bed bugs to be annoying. In Genesis 1:31 it says "Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! And evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day." So God made these bugs to have a different purpose, but the result of sin altered the way they are. I don't know how accurate it is, but in history bed bug fossils in Egypt used to have wings. Praise God that is not the case anymore.
I'm so exhausted! Not sleeping or not sleeping well is taking it's toll on my body and my attitude. I get up in the morning and try to get homeschooling done, since I was planning on this being my last week. It seems like we are to far behind on things to stop this week. I have no tolerance for the battles that are taking place right now. Do I just give up on homeschooling for the year? I feel like Satan wants me to turn my girls over to the public school system.
Preparing your home to rid it of bed bugs can be a full time job, one which I can't devote my full time attention to. When I got ready for our last move, it took me a month and that was with two girls. Even though we don't have to move, a lot of prep work has to be done and it will look like we are moving out. If we go anywhere, we heat up our clothes in the dryer so we don't spread these awful bugs. Thankfully, I don't see signs of a large size infestation, but then again you never know because the are good at hiding. They can fit into places with the thickness of a credit card.
Oh God, only you can help us get through this trial! I put my faith and hope in you God and will trust you no matter what. Please in your timing get us to a place of rest and peace!
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